Mandala Saved My Life

One day a couple years ago, I woke up and wished I was a different person. I wished I was more authentic. I wished I was reckless enough to follow my dreams. I wished I was more willing to be vulnerable. I wished I had something to offer the world. I wished my existence had a special purpose, and that I would have a reason to wake up every morning. I wanted to die because I didn’t have a special purpose. I wished I was all the things that I wasn’t. 

So I created that person. I heard a psychologist named Jordan Peterson give a lecture about the movie Pinocchio, and in it he talked about something called a mandala. A mandala, he said, was a special symbol that had a deep significance to it. It represented the universe, the “self”, order, among other things. It didn’t matter to me so much WHAT it represented, what mattered to me is that it HAD MEANING. I thought “Gee, wouldn’t it be great if my life had meaning to it, just like a mandala.”  

So I started calling myself “Mandala”. And I started acting as if my life had a special meaning. 

And then things got really crazy.  

I started feeling different. I started feeling bold enough to pursue my desire to be a rapper. I didn’t want to die as much because I was fascinated by where this newfound boldness would take me. It felt like my shell was peeling off and I was finally becoming my real self, just like how Pinocchio transformed from a wooden boy into a real one. 

So Mandala is me. What I represent is the ability to transform your life, from something that lacks meaning to one that is a constant journey of discovering your true self. 

Anyone can do what I’ve done. I know there’s a lot of people still living with their wooden shells on. If you feel like a wooden boy, it’s okay. I came to burn that wood off you, so that you can become your real self. I’m a fire starter. 

Mandala saved my life. I identify as “Mandala”, yes, but part of me is an observer just like you guys. I don’t know what I’m going to write next. And I’m trying to become more like Mandala everyday. Because, you see, Mandala represents something like my full potential. Mandala is the Christ-filter put on myself.  

This is the background story to all my music. I hope you will join me on my journey and maybe learn things about yourself on the way. This is an adventure that is just beginning.

Leave a comment